I bumped into Janet at coffee morning today. I first met Janet at a Kintsugi Hope Wellbeing Group a few years ago. Today, Janet told me that she went swimming and for the first time ever she managed to ’nearly’ enjoy it.

Janet explained she had been scared of swimming ever since her first swimming ‘lesson’ at school. A chubbier classmate had been told ‘at least you will float’ and Janet, to this day a slight woman, had feared that she, therefore, would not. When they dropped her in the pool, she knew she would drown. Her anxiety about swimming had stayed with her for 70 years.

But today, she had gone swimming with her vicar Gaby. She’d been given a noodle, prayed for courage, and lifted both feet off the bottom of the pool for the first time ever. With time to get used to the sensation she had even ‘partway relaxed’.

Janet was brought up never to talk about her emotions – not to think about them, not to feel them. She’d found our Kintsugi Hope Wellbeing Group challenging, as it brought up unpleasant sensations she had buried for a lifetime.

We talk about anxiety in week 2. We all experience those sensations of anxiety when we are out of our comfort zone – the change in heart rate, the shallow breathing, the churning of our stomach. Sensations can differ from person to person and when we start talking about them it can bring up a range of reactions from terrifying or overwhelming, through to enlightening and helpful, depending on our past experience.

But naming emotions – holding them, giving them space in our life – can be our key to managing and processing them. It wasn’t wrong for Janet to feel scared about swimming but perfectly understandable given her experiences. And when we know what is holding us back then we can have the power to move forward.

I’ve felt anxious too this past month too, with a number of challenges outside of my comfort zone. I’ve had to adapt the training material I deliver for a new audience, be assessed for membership at the charity where I volunteer with my daughter, tackle a difficult passage underground caving.  And along the way I’ve found myself using the same strategies Janet used in her swimming adventure today.: going with a friend, praying, pausing, taking small steps.

So if you are facing something out of your comfort zone which is causing you anxiety here are Janet’s strategies to help you.

1) Do it with someone else

2) Break it down and take small steps at a time

3) Take your time at each step to get used to the sensations.

4) Pray for courage

You never know – you may even ‘nearly’ enjoy it too!

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Clarie Miles

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